Mark Middleton of Growing Bolder says "Having friends is the vaccine against sickness, depression and cognitive decline. As we age, lack of friends can be more harmful to our health than smoking, alcohol or obesity"

Maintaining social contact is vitally important, whether or not you have a partner or share you home with someone. So, if your friends don’t call, don’t assume it’s because they don’t want to talk to you. They may have had stuff to deal with that you don’t know about, so give them a ring, or drop them a text message just to check up on them. Suggest a coffee or lunch, but don’t leave it at that. Make a firm date and time to meet - I recently spent a lovely afternoon chatting to a friend that I haven’t seen for 3 years. If it has to be you that always does the organising, so be it. I’ve found that reaching out to friends has never been a negative experience. And remember to be spontaneous. If they suggest meeting tomorrow and you have time, just do it. And if you think you don't have time, re-arrange your schedule to strike while the iron's hot, or offer an alternative.

By the way, if you’re feeling down – reach out to your friends. It may be that you need some time alone, but it's often helpful to talk about how you're feeling.  There’s an old saying that a problem shared is a problem halved and a different perspective may well help you to see things differently.

If you're in a situation where you've lost touch with your friends, it's never too late to make new ones. Some of the things you can try are Meet Up groups close to you - if you have a particular interest you can usually find a group with similar interests. You could try volunteering, doing a course, or joining a club. Start a conversation with your neighbours, or start a club of your own.

A final thought - if you've parted on bad terms with someone who was a good friend, maybe it's time to offer an olive branch. Apologise if you need to, or just suggest that you draw a line in the sand and start again. Renewing an old and valued friendship is the best thing in the world.

As always, I'd love to hear your comments

 

​​As we age, it's easy to fall into a pattern of negative thinking - especially if our lives haven't turned out quite as we'd hoped or planned. Our attachment to the past, focusing on the 'what ifs',  regrets for things we may have done or not done, or wishing things were different can cause us emotional pain that keeps us stuck.

One way to let go of the past (and the suffering) is to focus on the here and now. Start by embracing an attitude of gratitude.  Just the fact that you woke up today and can read this are two reasons to be grateful, and to get you thinking, here are a few of the things that I'm thankful for.​
​

• My wonderful, faithful, loyal and kind husband.  He is my rock, my sounding board, my friend and confidante.  He is a good man and makes me laugh and I can't imagine life without him.  
• Our son and his partner P, our two gorgeous granddaughters who bring us so much joy. and P's  family who have welcomed us with warm hearts.  I love being part of their extended family.  
• My own family.  I love them all despite the fact that we sometimes disagree; for their help and support during difficult times and in spite of the miles that have separated us in the past. 
• For our home, enough money to pay the bills, food in the cupboard, running water, electricity and good neighbours.
• My friends and colleagues for their help and support during some really trying times for us all.
• For the people who have made an impact on me over the years by their teaching, writing or speaking.  To name just a few: -   Matt Ferguson - whose hypnotherapy and NLP training led me down a different path of self-discovery and Clem & Margaret Turner who have provided local training for my CPD; David Woolley (Skills24), Andy Cope (The Art of Brilliance), Paul McGee (The SUMO Guy), Carmen Cave Gerhardt (Intervene) and Prof Derek Mowbray (Management Advisory Services), and more recently, members of The Lizian Events community
• Sumatriptan - I don't know who developed this wonder drug but it has made a massive difference to me as a migraine sufferer - and for my health, which I pray will remain good.
• For music that soothes or uplifts, books that entertain and blogs that inspire, for the scientists who strive to find solutions to our problems and cures for our illnesses.
• That I live in a democracy where I can say what I want, where I have the right to vote and where my rights are protected. I am especially and continually grateful for the NHS - despite it's shortcomings, it's a comfort to know that access to medical care and intervention in this country doesn't depend on having health insurance or a fat wallet. 

Why not share some of the things you're grateful for here?  Who know who or what your thoughts might inspire?
 

​

​